Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
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