So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize