You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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