come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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