I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
