No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
