I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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