she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize