he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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