What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hippo gnu deer
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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