I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
