im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
