My balls are so social today.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize