So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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