Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
