He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
