Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
