I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
