I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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