Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize