So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
