i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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