I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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