Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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