I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
