its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
