Pappa wants mamma naked
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
