as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
