Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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