remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
the night ended with taco bell and tears
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
