Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
