i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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