So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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