So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
