maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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