Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
