Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
