Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
