it was like eating out sand paper
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I didn't notice because vodka
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
