Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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