The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
