you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
