tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Farmville is her only friend.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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