Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
