PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
