What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize