I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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