Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I didn't notice because vodka
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
