I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
