go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
