At least make sure they are 18
Why
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
