...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
