He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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