Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
is wine microwaveable?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
