: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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