hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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