Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize