saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
