just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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