the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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