she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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