i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
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