You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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