...so i touched it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
