You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
