that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I will be naked everywhere
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
