Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
