there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
