Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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