I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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