Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am available for nakedness
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
