Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize