They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
