just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize