A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
