I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize