I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
