Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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