i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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