Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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