fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It's Friday. Sex?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
