i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize